How Can Your Pet Peeves Affect Your Relationship? Here’s What You Can Do About it!
Pet peeves or something that you find annoying can really affect your relationship. Small things that you don’t pay attention to in the beginning, but which eventually erodes away the very foundation of your relationship. But you can deal with these pet peeves in a simple yet strategic way.
What is cool for you may not be cool for your partner. Man sometimes finds the interruptions from a woman irritating. And women may find a man’s slurping their soups and making silly misplaced jokes irritating. So, here’s how you can deal with your partner’s pet peeves without hurting their sentiments.
Stop Expressing Your Pet Peeve in General Public
Nagging is something most men or women don’t like, so always steer clear of nagging and embarrassing your partner before everyone, instead, if you have something on your mind and can’t wait to express the same, wait up for sometimes, go home then talk it out.
Constantly reminding a partner about something can finally irritate a partner so much that he/she will get into a fight and soon it may get into a major row. Everything can wait, even something which you may think immediate attention. Use your prudence and talk to your partner, emphasizing the things assertively. He/she may understand what’s bothering you and you may not have to remind the partner again and again.
Acknowledge the Good Too
While you may find it easy to constantly remind your partner of how he/she failed in something, but the point is nobody likes to listen to negative feedback. However, you can put your point across in a better way, try a positive reinforcement than resorting to negativity.
If you praise him/her, the person will try and understand your point of view too and perhaps lend him/her ears the next time you have something to say.
When a Pet Peeve Becomes too Annoying
Everyone has annoying habits, yes even you, so what you consider a bad habit or an annoying habit maybe not so much of an annoying habit. Is the annoying habit of snoring or leaving the bath towel on the bed is that much of a deal? Evaluate that carefully, if it something that is seriously causing mental or physical harm then it is no longer just a pet peeve. There is more to it and it certainly needs more attention.
Brainstorm Some Solutions Together
It takes two to tango, and two to find solutions, yes you may find it really really hard to find a solution to your current predicament, but if you both talk it out, you may certainly find a suitable solution. Say, your partner constantly hijacks your TV remote, can you two find separate timings for TV viewing and a common TV program that both of you find time to watch? You won’t find a solution if you two do not talk to each other.
Communicate When the Time is Right
Never talk out your problems when people are around or you are busy. Spousal problems need your whole attention, so always focus on giving your wholehearted attention. Remember there may be a better time to talk when your partner is in a bad mood. Also, when you are talking to each other ensure there are no annoying phone calls interrupting your heart-to-heart conversations.
Sometimes when you are too stressed you tend to indulge in your pet peeves that much more. You may even realize it also isn’t a good time to talk to your partner when you are anxious or worried. Instead of putting off their invitation to a conversation, you can always say that you are having a bad day and don’t want to say something stupid that you regret later. Find other modes of venting out your anger or frustration, such as meditating, reading, dancing, or boxing. Just don’t vent out your anger on your partner.
Find Out What’s Important For You
Talk to yourself first and find out how annoying is that pet peeve of your husband/partner. Is it something that is really annoying you? An annoying habit like always trying to break into conversations, licking your fingers after a hearty meal, or talking loudly over the phone in a public place. Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10, is it really something your partner doing to annoy you, or is it just a character trait? Evaluate then come to a decision.
Talk to your partner/husband about something that is truly bothering you and if it still is bothering you despite making several attempts to sort it out, you can always talk to a counselor before it becomes a mountain out of a molehill.
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